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The truth behind my fairy tale

They say people come into your life for a reason and when I met him, I thought he would be the one to change my life forever. That was only half true. Every child comes into the world with the innocent thought that all people are genuinely good. I came into the world believing that fairy tales exists, mermaids are hidden away deep down in the ocean and fairies come out of hiding to those who believe in them. Now I know, not all fairy tale stories are real.

I was naive once and I wanted that happy ending with my high-school sweetheart. Although we never met until the end of high school and we were from two different schools, I looked at him as my prince charming. I came into the relationship with high hopes and full of love, I wouldn’t say he was my first boyfriend but he definitely was the one who’s changed my perspective on love and relationships.

Being raised by a traditional asian family, the only escape I had from the world was my books and my computer. We met through a mutual friend and since then we started chatting on a messenger program. We continued to talk for hours, losing sleep to finally meeting and having study sessions together. It felt like I was on cloud 9 and I wanted to hold on to that string of love for as long as I could. Little did I know, holding on so tight to that vision of romance did nothing but burn me in the end.

The first year was nothing but a dream that soon lead into a nightmare. I should’ve seen the signs but I was too blinded by love that I made excuses for his actions. He was the first guy that I poured my heart out to and every weakness was taken advantage of. He was the first guy I could celebrate an anniversary with and yet I received no celebration. With all the rumours circulating within our group of friends claiming I wasn’t his first, I often wondered if I was mislead to believe that I was going to lose it to someone who was also ready to lose it to me.

Year after year I put my dignity aside simply because I loved him. Lie after lie was because I loved him. Everything I did and everything I’ve lost was because I loved him. But that’s how the story is supposed to go right? When you find someone you love, you hold on and work through the imperfections because in the end, that’s when you’ll live happily ever after. Have we poisoned our minds the second we’ve learned how to formulate letters into words with stories of fictional characters and endings?

After years of manipulation and torment I soon realized that P was never my prince charming. He was never my knight in shining armour. He was never the true love kiss that I have been waiting for… but yet, he was also never the villain, I was.

xoglenny

** disclaimer ** This blog post does not reflect my current relationship as this is a past experience. Name(s) of individual(s) on this post has been changed for the protection of their identity. 

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7 Comments

  • Reply NYG@NaughtyYogaGirl.com

    Awww … I’m sorry, hun. First loves are hard to get over because you’ll never forget them. Sending you big love! 🙂

    February 29, 2016 at 7:32 PM
    • Reply Glenda

      awe I appreciate it! 🙂
      It took a while but I did end up getting over him but I think the scar still remains, yenno? but now I know what I want, and what I dont want — and I’m happy with who I’m with now xo

      February 29, 2016 at 10:09 PM
  • Reply Debonita

    I am so sorry to hear this. Hope you feel better and I am sure you will meet your soulmate soon x

    March 1, 2016 at 5:50 PM
    • Reply Glenda

      Awe thanks Hun!!! It was a past experience in 2004 so I’m totally over it, just wanted to share a part of my story xo

      March 1, 2016 at 5:57 PM
  • Reply Renee Davis

    Isn’t writing like this so healing in itself? I’m finding it to be so useful for helping to work through past hurts and helpful in looking forward to many good things ?. Thanks so much for being real and open like this ❤

    June 4, 2016 at 6:27 AM
  • Reply Travel Pockets

    First loves are always the hardest! I remember my first love and the obvious bad signs that everyone saw but me! Crazy how love can be so good, yet it can also be so detrimental. Love has so much power!

    June 4, 2016 at 8:15 AM
  • Reply Ref J

    Thanks for sharing this. It is difficult to be so vulnerable publicly and I admire your strength. I am proud of you for recognizing that you deserved better from a relationship and that you have moved on to a better relationship.

    June 4, 2016 at 10:46 PM
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